Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Wagon Circling: Great for Pioneers!



E. Boyer

Classic displays of Piedmont Pollyanna’ism are ever present.   At times I rather like it...complete denial no matter what.  I do it with what  I refer to as “vacation food.”  The things I eat while on vacation don’t really count.  It’s as though I never ate them.  Eight hundred calorie cupcakes at 11:00 p.m. are of absolutely no consequence.  A “sharing size” bag of peanut M&M’s which I chose not to share and instead enjoyed alone at midnight while in bed reading the Times, is wiped clean from the food diary once the vacation is over.  So, indeed I understand the inner-machinations of denial.  And just like eating nine million calories before bed can result in a ghastly outcome, so too can denial about other things.  

Baloney, is how, I believe, one contributor described it when referring to reports of troubling times for Piedmont high-schoolers.  I assume this was the "nonsense" variety as opposed to Oscar-Mayer's version.  A long time ago and early on in my children’s high school careers I learned that any success they might have or Pleasantville’ish euphoria they might experience could be lost in a moment.  I never took any of it for granted and never assumed it was a guarantee.  I enjoyed it with them while it was there, but knew that my children were just as susceptible to failure, pain, embarrassment and tragedy as any other child.  I breathe a heavy sigh of relief when I see my children today as lovely, healthy and productive adults.  I know that it could easily have gone the other way and I’m genuinely grateful that they grew into their current, full-grown versions.  Believe me, it was nip and tuck for a couple of them!  Although I’m a devoted fan of nonsense, I do wonder about the sagacity of wrapping such broad topics as “the high school experience” in a blanket of it. One person’s nonsense is another person’s genuinely troubling time.  While it’s true that some students sail through high school with nary a bump in the road and un-touched by unpleasantries, many children struggle and have a very difficult and often terrible time.  I believe we should applaud the children and parents who get through the high school years unscathed.  It’s good and challenging work.  But, I also believe that we should respect that others may not be so lucky.  Saying over and over again that something is a certain way does not magically make it true across the board.

According to...well...just about about every news station and publication from here to Timbuktu, Piedmont high school does have a few troubling spots.  While it may be true that this latest development is an old occurrence cloaked in a new name, it’s still grossly indecorous and I venture to say that a good many young women, having been victimized, publicized and then cast aside like an old garment, are embarrassed, hurt...or worse.  I also feel badly for the ill-mannered and ill-advised male students who participated. Imagine beginning your young adulthood believing that this was the right course for becoming the man you one day hope to be.  A very low place from which to begin.  

I suspect this latest episode will be met with much of the the typical Piedmont wagon-circling...”Oh, that’s ridiculous.”   “You can’t punish them..it’s their Senior year!”  “Making an issue of this will affect their college applications!”  And, of course, we’ll hear from more than one of the wink-n-nod crowd that  “Boys will be boys!”  Well, sometimes, as it turns out,  it’s more like “boys will be jack-asses” and if the grown-ups in their lives don’t soon explain right from wrong and demand better in this regard, those boys may result in very unappealing versions of men. Broken-down ex-athletes, with boring stories of their high school glory days, alone and balding, on the couch with a 12 pack of Schlitz, watching t.v., rubbing their big fat bellies and wondering what it would be like to have a meaningful relationship with a woman. Not pretty.  

Reel ‘em in, folks.  Have a chat with your boys.  And your girls.  All kids are good and worthwhile, but could often use tutoring in things other than academics.   Circling the wagon may have been a good defense tactic for the pioneers, but not very effective with badly behaved teenagers.    Just wondering...has anyone considered actual consequences?   Just a thought.      

Maya Angelou wrote that “..all god’s children need traveling shoes.”   I couldn't agree more.  Time to lace ‘em up... tight!