Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Mrs. Jones Is No Easier

E. Boyer
It's hard being a waiter in this town. It's also hard being a gardener, a plumber or a receptionist. Just doesn't carry the same weight or have the same heft as, say...an investment banker or a real estate bigwig. Being a shop gal isn't as impressive as being a high powered attorney. A man as a mechanic isn't thought as good a "catch" as a financial analyst. A matter of regret in my opinion and, often the burden that comes with life in an small, affluent town where "keeping up with the Joneses" is part of the program. I imagine someone now is reading this column thinking how very true true it is that they'd be infinitely more happy as a camp counselor than in their current more prestigious job. What kind of work would we do if we had only ourselves to consider? What master do we aim to please when we settle into jobs that don't really suit us? Pesky 'ole Mr. Jones, I suspect. A tough guy we strive to keep up with and Mrs. Jones is no easier. In fact, I often find her to be the more competitive of the two. Remember: Hell hath no fury like that of a woman making her way up the socioeconomic ladder! And, God help her poor husband if he isn't on-board to co-chair the effort. Mrs. Jones, remember, has an image to maintain, right down to the perfectly placed topiaries at the front door. Damned if she'll let a kink in her husband's resume be the monkey wrench that keeps her from Piedmont's tip-top list. And that settles it...a Fortune 500 or the couch, Mister!. Because, let's face it, that kind of job has a different appeal to some than hanging dry wall or driving a truck. "Sorry, darling...your dream of being a camp director will have to wait until we've reached a certain level of success and then the neighbors will assume that we have so much money that the camp director gig is your way of "giving back." Poor Mr. Jones. I always thought he would have made an excellent camp director.

I know we can't remain forever in the youthful whimsy of our salad days. But, could we at least reconsider the rulings we make on what constitutes a good job? Sadly, people are often summed up and "socially pre-determined" based upon their job. I'm sure it comes as no surprise that there are folks in town who align themselves only with a certain kind and will go to great lengths to "get in" with a certain group. Some things, after all, never change. But, who came up with this list of good jobs, socially acceptable jobs, anyway? There was a time when blue collar jobs were respected. Neighborhoods were filled with men and women who worked in factories, department stores and driving school busses.


There is no question that throughout history, the actions of the wealthy and innovative have touched the course of our lives. But, I don't think the great work of some was meant to devalue the less publicized work of others. I'm amazed at and enjoy the technology that sits on my desk thanks to the brilliant and innovative minds at Apple Computers. But, I enjoy and appreciate it even more when I include a chocolate croissant, a cup of coffee and the view of my garden. Although Steve Jobs brought technology to my desk, the man who bakes the croissants and the man who tends my garden make the time at a my desk more pleasant. Who is to say which is more profound?

So get out there and do what suits you, live the dream and tell the Joneses to mind their own business.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

When The Shiny Wears Off...Redux

(As much as I hate seeing re-prints,  I apologize in advance as I now commit the crime, myself.  But, with the election behind us and everyone riding high on the proclamations and promises of the in-sworn, I respectfully submit this column from a year or two ago with the issues ever present on my mind...)


E. Boyer
But, Sweetheart, the Medieval Banquet was wonderful...
Although my days of dealing with Piedmont teachers and administrators are long behind me, my days of caring about children are ever present.  In fact, once your children have left the nest, it is then that you can examine and challenge the system without fear of repercussions. It’s no secret that Piedmont is a powerhouse of fundraising for the school district and my hat is off to the individuals who work so tirelessly to that end.  But, there are some things that a cocktail and your checkbook can’t solve.  Big things.  Difficult things. When your child is struggling and suffering in a system that everyone lauds as incredible, you wonder why it isn’t working for yours and you dare not say anything because it wouldn’t be…in vogue. That’s a lonely place to be.  I think there are many Piedmont parents who have had or are having this experience. It’s sad to see the “shiny” wear away from your child when they become disillusioned with their educational experience. Things also change for parents when your challenges for the day become more than cutting off the crust and juggling play dates.  And, before those of you in the crust-cutting/play-date juggling stage accuse me of belittling those tasks, keep in mind that I did all of those things and I did them wearing an apron and a girdle!  So, back off.  Let’s face it, things are usually pretty good in elementary school and then right around 8th grade the rose-colored glasses start to fog a bit.  I always felt there should be some sort of law that prevented a parent from weighing-in on any grade, K-12, unless their child has been through that particular grade.  I felt it would have eliminated the annoying pep-squad of parents whose children are still in kindergarten but who would lash you down with baling twine and use you as a hood ornament if you said anything negative about the PUSD. They possess a complete lack of perspective for middle and high school yet feel somehow qualified to judge those families whose experience of the PUSD is different from their own elementary school bliss.  I don’t care which prestigious college issued your child development degree…If you haven’t been in the trenches, you have no perspective of said trench.  Period.  So, zip-it… until you’ve earned your stripes.  Enough with the “Golly, aren’t we a wholesome town” rhetoric and, the “Gee whiz, the medieval banquet makes it all worthwhile!” flim-flam. It’s irritating, irrelevant and the blind devotion isn’t the least bit helpful to a struggling bunch of kids or their parents. We’ve heard all about the rankings and test scores. We know Piedmont is beautiful and a great place to live.  But, there are tougher issue that could use some of the fierce and legendary Piedmont Pep-Squad energy .  Where is the task force that researches a student’s complaint or a parent’s concern?  The team that asks the hard questions of our teachers and administrators and demands answers? The system that rewards our good teachers and stops making excuses for the bad ones?   Why, in a community like this, would we be so complacent in this regard? We get all worked-up about defending the reputation of our schools but do little else, outside of fundraising, to improve the education experience for the child.  Why is it such taboo to talk about the shortcomings of our schools and the struggles that many children and parents face with them?  Our children count on us to be their advocates and instead of digging in deep, we rattle off a list of rankings, scores and statistics??  Good lord.  Do me a favor, when your child is in 10th or 11th grade and having a psychotic episode from the strain of a 7 hour homework load, just remind them of how terrific the medieval banquet was…and, let me know how that works out for you.